It would appear that The Naughtiest Girl in the School is none other than my daughter! Poor Lulu, as bedtime drew closer she started to complain of a tummy ache but when it became clear that I was positive her tummy would be just fine by the morning she burst into tears and said that she didn't want to go to school tomorrow because she was in trouble for being so naughty. What? My angel naughty? At school?? Surely not!
After some gentle coaxing she confessed, through snot and tears, the terribleness of her behavior. From what I could make out the class had been told that they had to "find their own space" to do their writing assignment but Lulu and Sweet A* were sitting too close together and so tomorrow they have to do indoor recess and "practice" (she wasn't terribly clear on what they would be practising). Oh how her tears tugged at my heart, whilst Lulu is frequently a monster at home she has never, never, never been anything but a goody two shoes at school. "I'm so embarrassed" she told me, "I thought we would just get a Stop Sign like everyone else, not a punishment, I don't understand why we didn't get a Stop Sign" followed by further sobbing and wiping of tear smudged glasses.
I did my best to reassure her that it will be fine and everyone makes mistakes blah, blah but this only led to questioning of what naughty things had I done at school and did I have to do indoor recess? I will mention that I have an exemplary educational career, with scarcely a demerit to my name (shut it Curtise, just shut it) but for the sake of comforting my daughter I confessed to all manner of misdemeanors which in reality I am absolutely innocent of. Lulu did perk up quite a lot upon hearing of my misspent youth but then questioned me as to whether "if you had to do indoor recess but you didn't go to school that day, did you have to do it the next day instead or not at all?" more tears sprang forth when I explained that there was no escaping the indoor recess, well not unless you were to completely drop out of school at the tender age of 6 - but I wisely didn't mention that option to her.
It was quite ironic that the punishment was indoor recess because Lulu has been hating outdoor recess this term and wishing for rain every day so she could stay inside. When I gently pointed this out to her I was told "walking round the track is much better than having to do indoor recess "practise" (there we go again with the practise! Practise what exactly?)
After lots of hugs and mopping up of the copious tears I seemed to have patched her up pretty good only for Daddy to appear and ask what the matter was which set her off again with "don't tell him, please don't tell him, please, I'm too embarrassed" sob, sob! I know, heartbreaking!
Simon was on Putting the Terrors to Bed Duty and as teeth were brushed, PJ's put on and favorite blankies positioned just so I could hear her interrogation of him crackling over the baby monitor "but did you get the Stop Sign first? Why did you do naughty things? Did it feel good while you were doing it? Then why did you do it? Couldn't you stop yourself? Did you feel embarrassed? Did you get Indoor Recess with PRACTISE? But, but, did you get the Stop Sign???"
Yes, Mrs B why didn't they get the Stop Sign!!!**
*I call her Sweet A because she is the sweetest, gentlest of children and I was greatly relieved to hear that Sweet A was Lulu's partner in crime, there could be no more unlikely delinquent than Sweet A.
**I know I sound like one of "those" mothers but seriously people why didn't they get the Stop Sign!!!